why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
