he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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