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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
