Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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