She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
