Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
