you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We have started to decorate penises.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
