Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
