stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize