His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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