I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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