I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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