You really coming over, don't trick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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