i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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