It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
