first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
