Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My balls are so social today.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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