So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
