John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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