this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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