omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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