That's intense
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
