literally had 100 drinks last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
