Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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