have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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