I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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