God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
