did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
