I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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