She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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