ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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