Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I booty called her while she was in labor.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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