True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
