well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize