you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
