I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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