I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
