you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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