My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
