never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
