Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
