What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
