only if we run a train.
done.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
