Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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