i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
now i know why i became what i already was.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
this hospital has no fireball
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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