marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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