i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
