He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
