I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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