You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
