So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
did i walk over a car last night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
