I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
