You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize