The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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