i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
